Clevelander Hotel - Miami Beach, USA 

My wife and I booked a stay at this wretched "hotel" several years ago. I just stumbled on Trip Advisor recently, and my fingers can't keep up with my brain in terms of the utter contempt I hold for this place. I knew something was wrong when we had to check in AT THE BAR. It just got worse. First, the room. I wasn't expecting posh...after all, this is an old art deco building. BUT the light fixtures and everyting are nailed to the furniture! OK, I'm thinking we won't spend much time in the room anyway. Have to sleep, though, and that's the biggest problem. Our room overlooked the pool. There is a band at the pool. OK, no problem, but the BAND PLAYED UNTIL 7:00 AM. I called the front desk at about 3:00 a.m. to see if there were quieter rooms available. The guy at the front desk, which is the bar, told me we already were on "the quiet side." I asked...."this is the quiet side?" The guy said, and I'm not kidding....."HOW ABOUT I JUST COME UP THERE AND KICK YOUR [--]!!" We checked out as soon as it was daylight. The female clerk (bartender) at the front desk/bar asked why we were leaving early. I just said "Are you kidding?" I realize South Beach is all about partying and late nights, but this place is disgusting. Most of the rooms are probably rented by the hour. We found a room at the Kent that morning and it was great. You CAN stay at a quiet, well kept, hospitable place within the mayhem that is South Beach. BUT NOT AT THE CLEVELANDER.

I stayed at the Clevelander last summer in '06 with a group of 7 and we all had a blast! Make sure to stay for the pool party on Saturdays and it's great that the pool is only for hotel guests. Everyone who walks down Ocean Drive always stops at this party location. If you're looking for a luxury romantic getaway, this is NOT the place. This is a non-stop party hotel and the music is loud and happenin' at all hours of the day. If you like to party, this is the place to stay! p.s don't expect much from the rooms, they are not the best. No room service either. Just a bed and a place to party!