The Marks Tey Hotel - Colchester, United Kingdom 

As we drove into the hotel grounds, I thought yes, this looks OK. No probelem in parking, plenty of space and not too far away from the hotel entrance. We went to reception through the main doors, but before we could actually get through the main doors we had to work our way through a rather large smoking party, all gathered outside the hotel entrance. I appreciate that smokers are no longer allowed to smoke inside public buildings but could I suggest an area that does not obstruct the entrance? We booked an evening meal for 9 o'clock, and went up to our room to unpack and get ready to dine. The room was not too bad, a little on the small side but adequate. The bathroom was a little disappointing, not terribly clean, the shower head badly limescaled, a tap was constantly running and grime was clearly visible around the taps. We went down for our evening meal.........I have to say that the bread offered was the tastiest bread I have EVER had. It was absolutely delicious. Sadly the meal was only mediocre, and extortionately priced. It also took 2 hours to complete a 3 course meal. I don't like to be hurried when eating but I don't want to fall asleep during courses either! The room was nice and quiet, and the bed although not luxurious by any standards was again adequate. Morning came, and we went down to breakfast at 9:15. They were a little busy and we were asked to wait in the bar area along with many other people. 3 quarters of an hour later, after complaining to staff, we were eventually seated. We then waited 15 mins before we managed to attract someone's attention for coffee and toast. When we went to the buffet bar for the breakfast there were no plates and very little food left. I asked a waitress for plates and food, such as sausages, eggs etc, but was told that there was no more. I took my meagre reakfast back to my table and found that a plate of toast had been left for us. No butter nor condiments. We eventually managed to forage some unused pots of jam, marmalade and butter from uncleared tables. The hotel manager did come round and apologise and let us know that we wouldn't be charged for breakfast, but when asked if he could guarantee that the next morning would not herald the same fiasco, was told that Sunday's generally tended to be very busy and that the best time's to eat were between 7:30 and 8:30 am !!!!! We had booked for another night but as I write this, we are packing ready to move to another hotel. Hopefully nothing could be as bad as this one!

I stayed here one night on business, and was glad I hadn't paid for it myself. There is no air-conditioning, and on the hot night that I stayed the only way to stay cool was to open the window, which I didn't do as it was on the ground floor and opened from the bottom outwards! The room was very 1970s, real English provincial; I personally don't like blankets and eiderdowns, and the general effect was a timewarp. The staff, whilst universally pleasant enough, didn't seem to have a clue about anything much. They were hopeless at checking us out, we had to be very careful they didn't overcharge us, and they had not provided some equipment that they had previously promised us on the phone for an important presentation. The restaurant food is not bad, but nothing to write home about. I have to say the wine list is very good. The waitrons were polite and pleasant, but very young and undertrained. I really don't see how this place has 4 stars.